| So much going on right now... First of all, I'm currently living with
my grandma because I'm not getting along with my mom.. This has
happened before but it sucks. Also I might be getting braces. Yeah.
I have a crooked tooth and I'd like to get it fixed now. It's better to
be a 19-year-old loser with braces than a 38-year-old loser right?
Trying hard to get a job but so far I've had zero luck. I'm still single
like always, I personally think it's because of my lack of confidence.
I've never been good with guys, I don't even have guy friends (which
I find very sad). I just don't like myself and because of that I think it
would be very hard for anyone else to like me. Haha I make myself
sound like such a loser.. I don't think I am though. I'm pretty "normal",
whatever that is.
I've been eating a lot lately. I do comfort eating. Lots of it.
I have to get it together and THINK THIN. I need to lose weight.
I want to be skinny. I will be skinny!
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| Do you know that feeling when you just want to
escape? You just want to run as fast as you can
and see where your feet take you. That's how I
feel right now. I'm so emotionally tired. I don't
think I'm a mean person. I can be mean. I'm just
kind of shy when I first meet people and it takes
a while for me to open up. That's probably why
I might seem arrogant or rude. And it hurts when
people who don't even know me judge me.
I know I shouldn't care but it still hurts.
Has someone ever said a complement to you about
your friend like "Wow your friend looks good" or
"She's hot!" etc? I know my friends are pretty but I
don't want to be constantly reminded of that. It
makes me feel so ugly. Especially when most of my
best friends have boyfriends. They don't need
other people telling them they look good. They
already have someone to do that. I don't.
IT SUCKS.
ps. i dyed my hair and it's way darker than I
wanted it to be :( not a good weekend at all.
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Dieting sucks so bad. I want ice cream SO BAD.
And I'm not even a huge fan of ice cream.
I stopped drinking soda. It's surprisingly easy.
Tomorrow I'm hopefully going to the zoo and
later I'm going to dye my hair yay!
Have a great day errryone (:
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| So basically...
I can't get over how much I hate looking at myself
in the mirror. I feel disgusted. SO SO SO disgusted
and I want to change that. I feel like I've gained so
much weight over the summer and it makes me
sad. After my period I'm gonna get this 'gym card'
so I can go swimming as much as I want for
a month. Swimming is one of those things
I actually prefer doing alone. I love it.
I just want to be tiny.
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| Hello everyone!
I'm Ava. 19 years old, living in duh States.
Where I live doesn't really matter because
I'd like to stay somewhat anonymous.
I had a xanga like 3 years ago when I was
obsessed with my weight and counted calories
etc. I was young(er) and dumb(er?) and honestly
it sucked. But it helped in a way. And that's why
I created this blog. Only this time I'm not going to
ramble about my weight, at least not all the time.
Basically I'm just going to blog about my life and
hopefully I'll 'meet' some cool new people while doing it (:
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